I f
May 2016: I picked Sam up from my mom's house like I did almost every day. This day, mom was telling me how vocal the kids in Sam's class were. They always came up and talked to her when she was picking him up from school. My mom mentioned how Sam was saying a a few words just months earlier, but now there was nothing. I don't think Matt and I realized that the words had stopped. He was saying words like, "up, da-da, ma, ya-ya."At this time, Sam had zero words. Actually, he didn't even make a lot of noise. He was quiet. Independent. He was content playing alone while the other kids played all around him. He didn't give a lot of affection. He was happy just being left alone. Once my mom started talking about the speech regression, my heart did a flip in my chest. I don't know if it's because I am a special education teacher or because mommas know when something is wrong with their kids, but I had recently been looking up early signs for autism because of Sam's lack of social skills. Little did I know, my mom had been reading different things on it as well. Both of our momma hearts knew something wasn't quite right, but neither of us had said anything to each other before this day. I left my mom's house that afternoon and called Matt to tell him we needed to get Sam into the pediatrician to see what he thought of Sam's speech regression.
Dr. Owen, our wonderful pediatrician, didn't really want to talk about the autism worry at the time. He found that Sam's ears were full of fluid and he needed to get tubes. He told us that he had seen so many kids get tubes and within a week they were saying words. This was good news. Once our baby got tubes, we would be right where we were supposed to be developmentally. Perfect! Dr. Owen also set us up with TEIS (Tennessee Early Intervention System) so that we could get speech therapy just in case.
May 18th Matt and I were sitting in the surgery center waiting for Sam to get back from having his tubes put in. Eight minutes later, we were holding him in our arms, giving him his PediaSure, and ready to head home to start our journey of talking. Other kids started talking as soon as they had tubes. Our Sam would be one of those kids. Why wouldn't he be?
June 2016: Once school was out for me we started working with TEIS. Sam had a wonderful developmental therapist (DT). Ms. Teresa would come to our house every other week and just watch him play and try to interact with him. Sam wanted nothing to do with her. Our case worker wanted us to start with DT then we would move onto speech if they saw it was needed. We still had zero words. Zero sounds. Zero social interaction. Speech was definitely needed in our opinion.
Matt and I kept Sam enrolled in summer school at his Mother's Day out for the month of June. We knew that he needed that interaction with kids his age and he needed to keep a routine. His summer school teacher would also be his teacher in the fall. I wanted him to be used to Ms. Alesia so going back to school in the fall would be an easy transition. [Side note: Ms. Alesia was also Toby's first teacher at our Mother's Day out program so she already knew our family.]
July & August 2016: These were pretty slow months for us. Ms. Teresa was still coming to our house to monitor Sam's progress. We asked for speech and occupational therapy (OT) to get started as soon as possible because we still had no growth in our language and speech. We thought maybe there could be a sensory issue that was slowing the speech process down. Sam also wasn't eating whole foods very well. PediaSure was a life saver to make sure his belly was full. Maybe the tubes were not going to be the miracle workers we thought they would be.
September 2016: This is really when things started picking up for us in our journey and testimony. Sam was in school three days a week. His teachers had noted that he was still not communicating like his classmates were. He would rather play alone than with friends. Getting Sam to eat was still a struggle.
We got a letter one day saying that there were some physical therapists from Matrix Rehab coming to his school to screen the kids. Of course we signed [it was a free screening!] and returned the form. The next week, we received a letter saying that Sam did not pass the appropriate gross motor milestones for toddler's his age. The therapists wrote down the different things they noticed while they gave him their screening; flat/pronated feet, not standing on one leg, not following simple commands, couldn't kick a ball, etc. Since Sam was 21 months at this time, he should have met most of these milestones. I called Morgan, the owner and one of the therapists, that screened Sam. We talked for almost an hour. She was so real with me on the phone that night. I talked to her about my concerns and she told me the concerns that she had as well [autism was mentioned]. She was one of the first people to suggest we see a neuro-psychologist to do some testing to pinpoint what was really going on with Sam.
This is how we got our wonderful physical therapist (PT), Ms. Lindsey. She has been working with Sam every Tuesday since September 13th at his school. Lindsey has been such a blessing to our family and Sam absolutely adores her! I get videos after every session of what they worked on that week so Matt and I know what to do at home to help. She sends us encouraging texts throughout the week to let us know of all the progress she has seen in Sam. Matt and I have prayed for therapists and teachers that want to help our baby grow. God handpicked Ms. Lindsey especially for us.
I also took Sam to do a speech evaluation at a private center called Brightsong in September [also suggested by our wonderful PT crew]. TEIS was taking way too long to find us a speech therapist. Matt and I were ready to pay out of pocket to receive speech as soon as possible. We always said, no matter what the cost, we were going to get Sam any help that he would need. Sam and I left Brightsong with a speech qualification and a new therapist that would come to his school to work with him. We also learned that Brightsong worked with TEIS so speech was going to be covered by the state. Another one of our MANY blessings we have received during our adventure.
October 2016: This was an extremely busy month for us and Sam. Our neuro -psychological appointment was scheduled for October 24th. The weeks leading up to this appointment we had to get other appointments checked off our list to make sure there weren't any other factors hindering his development. One week I took off to take Sam to get his hearing checked. The next week Matt took off to get his vision checked. Oh, did I mention that I was also taking off to go to my own doctor's appointments to check on our new baby we have coming in March [Jovie Michelle]? I also had PT twice a week for sciatica caused by our growing baby girl. I am not lying when I say October was busy for everyone! My mom helped tremendously with Sam when I had PT and Matt was still at work or teaching at church.
This is also the month Matt and I knew that I may not be able to continue working with all of the therapies and appointments that we were going to. I had already been praying about the work situation, but this is when the prayers really started. Talking about going down to one income is scary. Matt wasn't against the idea completely, but he was not ready to fully commit to it which was totally understandable. I wasn't ready either. I had talked to my mom about it and just asked her if I had to quit work how would I know when a good time to do it would be. She just looked at me and said, "Court, there will be no question. God will let you know exactly when you need to do it."
October 24, 2016: Our appointment with Dr. Jain had finally arrived. I think we were anxious/excited for this day to get here. This is a day we also got an interesting phone call from the guy who was going to cut down one of our trees [I'm telling you, God placed so many people to come along on our adventure. Our tree guy is one]. Aaron had come to our house that previous week to look at our trees. He had already cut trees at my parents house and his little boy is in Toby's class at school [where I also taught]. Once again, we were already intertwined with him and didn't know. This phone call though; Aaron had called Matt to talk about the pricing for the tree removal. Once business talk was over, Aaron asked Matt if our son had special needs. This question came from nowhere. Matt told him about Sam's speech delay and that we were actually headed to get psychological testing done that afternoon because Sam wasn't meeting other milestones. He proceeded to tell Matt about his little girl who has Down Syndrome that's Sam's age. The reason he was asking was because he and his wife wanted to minister to young parents who had children with special needs. After Matt called me and told me about this, I just assumed maybe my parents had mentioned something to him about Sam's struggles. Nope... they NEVER said a word. This was a God thing. Tears flowed down my face and chills were all over my body after my mom said nothing had been said. Can I say it again? This was totally a God thing.
Moving on to our neuro appointment: Dr. Jain came and escorted the three of us upstairs to her office. She grabbed some Lego blocks and an activity cube for Sam to play with while she talked to Matt and I. She asked us all of our health history, about Sam's birth, and about our concerns. She then gave us "yes/no" checklist to answer about Sam's social skills, speech, communication, affection, etc. After she was finished talking with us she got down on the floor to play with Sam. She moved some of the beads on the activity cube that he was playing with at the time. Instead of pushing them back or pushing another row, he just moved over and started playing with the Lego blocks some more. He wanted nothing to do with her. She went back, sat in her chair, and said with a straight face, "I'm sure autism has been brought up to you two before." She told us that on her yes/no checklist that anyone who scored an eight was high-risk for autism. Sam scored a nine. She wasn't diagnosing him because he was still so young but suggested we do a full screening once he turned three. I just looked at Dr. Jain and asked her, "What do you suggest we do right now?" She suggested to enroll Sam into a developmental preschool where he could receive the intensive schooling he needed with peers developing on his level. We were given four different schools that she highly recommended. I left her office with a heavy heart. I cried on the way home while holding Matt's hand. I just looked at him and told him that I wasn't crying because of the high-risk for autism but crying because I wanted immediate help for Sam. I felt like there was so much that we needed to do for him, but it was all so overwhelming.
October 28, 2016: The whole week had been a hard week for me after leaving Dr. Jain's office. This Friday, I was on my way to pick Sam up from Ms. Dawn's house, his wonderful sitter. [Ms. Dawn has also been intertwined in our life for a very long time. My sister and Ms. Dawn's daughter were best friends and even lived together in college. Some of the teachers at school where I work used her to watch their boys.] Sam loved going to Ms. Dawn's house! She always told me of the progress that she was seeing with him and how great he was at her house. One day, she told me that as she was laying him down for his nap she kissed him and said, "I love you, Sam." She looked at me and said, "I know he said, "love you" back to me! She loves him so much and you can see it in everything she does for him and the other children she watches. After I picked him up we stopped to take pictures in a cotton field by her house. I posted this on my Instagram page; " This week has been overwhelming but it's ok because some weeks are like that. As I watched Sam run through the cotton today I was so thankful for this beautiful, healthy boy. I love his sense of wonder, his innocence, and his drive. He is everything Matt and I could have ever prayed for and more! God perfected this boy for us and I couldn't be any more thankful." My healthy boy was all we needed. God was hearing our prayers and healing our hearts.
November 2016: We set up a meeting with two of the schools that were suggested by Dr. Jain on November 7th. The first one was the school she highly recommended. The director brought us into the classroom that Sam would be in so we could meet the teacher and assistants. When we walked in, Sam's speech therapist was there! And guess who she was working with... Our tree guy's daughter! My heart was doing flips again because I knew that this was another one of God's doings. We had no idea that this was the school his daughter attended! I told you, God brought so many people into our lives for a reason. Who knew that a tree guy would be a big part of our story?
Before we left we turned in our application. We were told that it was a six month to a year wait list to get in. Matt and I knew that this was the type of school setting Sam needed so we were willing to wait.
We left this school and went to the second one to tour. Our good friend's mom is actually one of the lead teachers at this school so we were very comfortable with Sam attending here if needed. We got to watch the children have snack and do circle time. Afterwards we were told by the director that if we wanted, Sam could start immediately in their school. We left with their application and was told to give them a call and let them know what we wanted to do. We knew Sam needed a special school, but my heart was not ready for him to leave the teachers he already had. We decided to go ahead and go with the second school, but we would start in January. I wanted Sam to finish out the semester with his teachers and friends at his school.
Monday, November 14th: This is the best part of our story! Before I left for work, I put our application and check in the mail for the second school we visited. Matt and I decided that I should go ahead and resign as well so that I could take Sam to his new school and any extra therapies he would need. Since Sam was going to start in January I was going to finish out the semester at my school and just stay at home come January. On my break at work I went ahead and filled out the resignation paperwork online and submitted it. I am not kidding you when I say 30 seconds after I pressed "send" my phone starts ringing. I automatically think it's the school board calling me to ask more about the resignation. I answer and it's the director from school number one. "Mrs. McEwen, this never happens but we have an opening here where Sam can start on November 28th." [Remember: this was supposed to be a six month to a year wait! We waited a week!] I told her that I would have to call my husband and talk with him real quick and I would call her back. Of course I call Matt and start crying. I am so overwhelmed now that we have two options for school. It was an easy decision when I thought we would be waiting a year to hear from them. Matt was all in for school number one! "Call her back and accept the spot." After I got off the phone I texted my mom [mom's have all the answers]. I told her what was going on and she just texted back, "God would not have opened this door if that's not where he was supposed to be." That was all the confirmation I needed. I immediately began thanking God for opening this door that I thought would be closed for a while. I called the director back and accepted the spot for Sam to start November 28th. I texted Matt to run by the house and take our application and check out of the mail for the second school before the postman grabbed it!
Oh wait a second, my resignation didn't start until January. I emailed the board and told them what had just happened and that I needed to change the date. The lady that I was corresponding with just told me to write a statement and email it back to her and she would get it to who it needed to get to. At the end of her email she put, "I'm praying for your son's well being." You guys, this lady does not know me from Adam and she's praying for my son?! I emailed her back my statement and then I told her that I really appreciated all of her prayers. She emailed me back with, "GOD IS ABLE." I was crying again at this point.
I put my resignation in on November 14th and November 22nd was my last day. My mom told me that I would know when the right time to quit would be and she was absolutely right! People who have heard about me resigning have said things like; "Oh, you guys must have more money than I thought." "Matt must have gotten a nice raise." "I wish I could stay at home with my babies, but we have to have the money." Let me tell you, none of these things are true. We have prayed and prayed about this situation. We took a step of faith. God has opened doors for us that we didn't even know needed to be opened. Leaving my job was one of them. I cannot tell you how peaceful I felt after putting in my resignation. My heart was so full of excitement of how everything had played out. God had his hand over this situation the whole entire time.
Sam starts his new school on Monday. He will attend his MDO and the new school for all of December. January he will only go to his new school. I cannot wait to let you all know how his school goes and all of the progress we will continue to see.
I don't know who needed to hear our story, but I know someone did. Don't stop praying over the things that you think may be little. Don't stop praying over the hurdles that life throws at you. God is listening. I promise.
"Let your faith be bigger than your fear."
Courtney and Matt
